Maybe if I just cut my legs off...

Last week Kevin and I decided it was time to get off our lazy booties and join a gym. I am completely stoked about the very notion that I might not be "the fat girl" in the not so distant future. I joined a gym several years ago in a town where I worked, and I can honestly say I never felt better about myself physically than I did back then. I would be completely thrilled to feel that way now.

My love affair with our current gym got off to a bit of a rocky start. First, our children didn't love the oh-so-convenient child care, so our first real workout was over rather abruptly. Second, in an effort to be each other's workout buddy, we tried to wait until Kevin got off work to go...not our most practical idea ever. But we did manage to make it over twice last week, which was twice more than we'd exercised in, oh, forever, so score one for us!

This week started out more smoothly...sort of. I was able to schedule a "training assessment" with the gym's resident trainer. She was very nice and diplomatic. She actually asked me what my fitness goals were rather than just assuming weight loss might be my main objective. And when we were going over what I typically eat in a day, she didn't fall to the floor in convulsive laughter, screaming, "LIAR! LIAR!" I thought that was pretty nice of her, considering. Then I got on the scale. Again, she was quite the professional. I knew what I weighed, so that was no big shock (depressing, yes, but not shocking)...it was the body fat percentage that nearly sent me over the edge.

...and no, I'm not going to share the number with you here. Suffice it to say that I am a big ol' tub of lard.

I was stunned. Trainer girl told me to take this number with a grain of salt...it could fluxuate as much as four percentage points, she said. Like four stupid points were going to make me feel better about myself!! I managed to pick my ego up off the floor after a minute and let her show me the ropes on the weight machines. Contrary to outward appearances, I wasn't completely unfamiliar with the inside of a gym. Trainer girl was still really helpful, and gave me some other exercises that I could do for my abs that have morphed into a strange blob since childbirth.

I guess the good news is I managed to get in a full workout after my assessment. The kids were with me and were perfect little angels for an hour and a half. The husband had to work late, so I was able to get done earlier than normal. I will be both bummed and thrilled if I'm not sore tomorrow. Wish me luck! Hopefully this is just the beginning of the healthy phase of my life!