Evidence that Men are Smarter than Women

A few thousand years ago, all the hunter-gatherers were sitting around the fire. I figure they had a conversation that went something like this...



Og: Have you guys noticed that when we go out to kill a deer, none of the women want to go with us?

Ug: I know! Crazy, huh? The little woman follows me around the cave all day long, but as soon as I say I'm going to hunt, she disappears!

Og: Too bad we have so many animals so close by...if only they were further away...

Ug: Yeah. If we had to travel further to find good meat, we could all go together-

Og: -and do MAN stuff!

Ug: Like scratch ourselves and spit?

Og: Exactly! Hey! What if we told the women that the deer were bigger on the other side of the mountains? What if we said we could all go together and bring back meat for the WHOLE VILLAGE?!

Ug: You want to hunt for the whole village?

Og: Are you kidding? Of course not! I just want to scratch myself and spit! We hunt for a couple of hours, say they were out of spear range--oo, oo, no wait...we say we HIT one but it ran away and it was getting too dark--so we need to stay a few more days. If we do it right, we could milk this for YEARS!!!



...and that's how the deer lease was born.



Don't mistake my jealousy for bitterness. I just wish we'd thought of it first. I want my own deer lease, dad gummit. I want to leave the real world behind, drive somewhere with no real responsibilities, and just relax for a bit. My deer lease would not require me to shoot at things, naturally...my deer stand would have a massage therapist and a pedicure person and room service.

And black out curtains.

And lots and lots of pillows.

And a jacuzzi.

And a balcony.

With a good view.